There are no secrets, only mysteries.
The philosophy of a good sandwich and having serendipitous-girl summer.
As the days have lengthened and warmed, I have found myself more excited for the summer than I have been in years. Perhaps that’s not unusual, last summer I spent mostly processing the end of a relationship, and those prior were tainted by pandemic woes. This summer feels different, usually I lament hot weather, but now I can’t wait to lay outside in the evenings and listen to the cicadas. It’s been a beautiful season for storms, even though they can sometimes be scary. But in my heart summer storm-watching remains one of my favorite parts of being an Okie.
Daily life has felt unusually serendipitous and I’m trying to enjoy it while I can. Perhaps the longer days help us feel less rushed and stingy with our time and kindness, and happy accidents have felt more prevalent lately. For instance, the other week I was debating on going to a boygenius concert I had bought tickets for earlier this year. I really wanted to go, but the venue was a three-hour drive and I had no one to go with. I nearly talked myself out of it, but then decided last minute to book a cheap Airbnb so I could go anyways. Along the way, I was able to visit my friend T who I hadn’t seen since we had graduated college. Later, at the concert, I was able to meet up with some other old friends who also happened to be attending. Reconnecting with these friends made the trip well worth the trouble and in the end I’m grateful I pushed myself to go and reach out.
Not all seasons of life are this pleasant. It’s natural that we shift through different moods and periods of adversity. Sometimes, however, when things feel too easy, I get this nagging worry about how this happiness must eventually come to an end. I’m sure many other anxious people can relate, it’s difficult to not let these worries accumulate and ruin your enjoyment of the present moment. Writing helps with this, previously I used journalling as a method of capturing these different mindsets and found it comforting to see how frequently, and often cyclically, these moody seasons pass. Eventually, though, I found myself only journaling during periods of negative emotion, and it became a bit depressing to look back on. Writing A soft landing place has been partially helpful in solving this problem, I want the content I create here to feel personal but not always somber, and I’ve enjoyed attempting to share the beautiful moments I encounter throughout my day-to-day life.
You feel that you are always in a state of waiting, expecting, not on the outside, but inside you, in your guts. You do not know if you are in rain or sunshine.
- ‘Candlelight’ by Adonis
Life is far from perfect, but when I find these moments of contentment I do my best to take stock of them. They are fleeting and ephemeral, but equally important to our growth as those heavier periods. We cannot grasp too hard for these moments, so in the spirit of this newsletter, I’ve provided a list of things that I feel embody a serendipitous-girl summer.
Other things that have helped me lean into summer.
Body acceptance
Summer can be an especially difficult time for those of us who have struggled with body image in the past. There were phases of my life where even on the hottest days I’d wear long baggy clothing to try and conceal myself, suffering all the while. While my relationship with my body is still a work in progress, this summer I’m doing my best to lean more into my comfort and worry less about my body’s unruliness. Tube tops, shorts, bare arms and shoulders are the order for this season, as is worrying less about your bangs sticking to your forehead, humidity hair, and smelling like sweat and sunscreen. This summer, I’m striving to find romance in my body’s unruliness.Eating to satiate my inner child.
As much as I love cooking, I am only human and often just need something quick and tasty. I’ve been a little frustrated by some of my food projects lately, none of them feel pretty or perfect enough for me to post and I lament that my pictures don’t turn out as nice as other food bloggers. I’m taking that as a sign to step away and chill out and find my way back to cooking as a process to nourish myself. How I’m currently doing that is by indulging in Goodles mac n’ cheese, chicken nuggets, and steamed broccoli as a staple meal for my lazy days.
Sparkling wine
I’ve been especially fond of vinho verde lately.
Horror movies.
Still from Hausu (House), 1977. Even though Halloween feels like a distant dream, there’s something about the summer that complements horror so well. Perhaps the longer days make us feel more impervious to darkness, and emboldened we crave it more. I’m someone who always craves a little darkness, especially if there’s a camp or comedy element. I’d recommend Dario Argento’s Suspiria or Phenomena, Hausu, or the Fear Street Trilogy (if you’re not too susceptible to cheesy writing and acting). All of these I would consider light-hearted horror and have really fun aesthetics and themes.
A good haircut.
Standing barefoot in the grass.
Taking “go touch some grass” literally.
Being the one to reach out and make plans.
I’m planning on writing more on this in an upcoming soft landing place, but it can sometimes feel so intimidating to reach out and make new connections with others, I’ve often fallen victim to the “we should hang out soon!” where neither party ends up following up, resulting in the connection fizzling out. I think it can make us feel insecure to be the one to request to make plans, but in my experience, people almost always want an excuse to hang out.
Going to the library and checking out a bunch of books.
Libraries in the summer make me so nostalgic. As a kid, my mom would take me and my sister to the Edmond Public Library regularly during summers and we’d fill our book baskets to the point where we could barely carry them. So whenever summer rolls around, I get a huge itch to visit libraries and read again. Right now I’m really enjoying The Summer Book by Tove Jansson, The Idiot by Elif Baumann, and Our Wives Under the Sea.
Cluttered antique stores.
The Essential Summer Sandwich
There’s nothing that can really compare to a thoughtfully made sandwich. Maybe it’s the nostalgia, the portability, the endless innovation and variability, but a well-made sandwich remains solidly in my top 5 favorite foods. To reach sandwich nirvana you need to strike a delicate balance between optimizing flavor and texture, while also not overcomplicating things.
One of the best sandwiches I ever had came from Miam Miam, a well-known sandwich stall in Paris. What really makes the sandwiches there are the freshness and quality of ingredients and the personalization. I remember feeling slightly panicked at the counter as I was asked to select a cheese, only to quickly be thrown two slices to sample and make my selection from. Most notably, I don’t remember there being any sort of sauce or aioli on the sandwich, the goodness of it was mainly the meat, cheese, and produce. It’s been nearly five years since that sandwich in Paris, but my memory of it serves as the inspiration for this iteration of my essential summer sandwich. When asked about the secret to his sandwiches, Chez Alain replies “there are no secrets…only mysteries”. So in your sandwich construction consider what ingredients and embellishments are speaking to you, creating a perfect sandwich for that moment.
Note: My version will not include meat, but feel free to incorporate some if that is your sandwich preference.
Step 1: The Bread
I am using homemade baguettes for this sandwich because I find the shape charming and highly portable. I used the baguette method from The Bread Baker’s Apprentice. I like toasting the inside of the baguette a little with some butter and rubbing it with a garlic clove to add flavor.
Step 2: The Cheese
In interviews, Chez Alain is reported to use either Cantal or Comté cheese, I’m using Comté today because it’s what I found at Trader Joe’s. I recommend using a medium soft cheese that is creamy and nutty. I like peeling the cheese with a vegetable peeler to get long thin strips to layer on the sandwich.
Step 3: The Veg
Today I’m opting to use quick pickled onions, sliced campari tomato, arugula, and sliced Persian cucumber for a little extra crunch. If you don’t already have pickled onions on hand, slice up your desired amount of onions and cover them in vinegar (apple cider, white, and rice vinegar all work fine for this). Add in a pinch of salt and a heavy pinch of sugar, and add a few cracks of black pepper in there. Let the onions marinate in the vinegar for 30 minutes and then drain.
Drizzle the greens with some good olive oil and generously season the veg with salt and pep.
Step 4: The Protein
A thinly-sliced or shredded protein would work best here. Prosciutto, tinned fish, or smoked salmon would all be lovely. For the veggie-inclined a chickpea salad, hard-boiled eggs, or marinated tempeh would also be delicious. Today I’m using a store-bought plant-based “chicken” by Tofurkey.
Step 5: The Herbs
This is where you can get the most creative. As I said, in my memory of the Miam Miam sandwich, there was no dressing or spread. This is difficult for me, as I am a huge aioli girl, but in the spirit of Chez Alain we will abstain. Instead, we’ll rely on fresh herbs to add some additional flavor. I’ll be using dill today, but any tender herb (cilantro, mint, basil, or a mixture) would complement this sandwich.
Enjoy the sandwich immediately, or wrap it in some parchment paper and tie it off with string to take on your picnic.
If you’ve made it all the way to the end, thanks for landing here for a bit. Let me know if you make the serendipitous summer sandwich. Until next time.
sandwiches really are summer staples, looking forward to try your recipe!!