Me, the trees, the skies and the seas...
...that will have to be enough. Reflections from a week alone in London.
I’ve always been drawn toward the concept of being a “solo traveler”. Media and travel influencers constantly hawk it to us as a romantic notion of self-discovery, exploration, and opportunity. Yet despite its appeal, I don’t know many people who have intentionally booked an extended solo trip. As someone deeply interested in the paradox of loneliness, independence, and connection to myself over the past couple of years…embarking on a long-ish solo trip has been on my list for a while. Aside from the typical appeals of travel, it feels like a way to challenge myself to spend significant amounts of time with myself and [attempt] to better root myself in the now. But what does this look like in practice?
We can’t talk about travel, especially traveling alone, without talking about money and privilege. Even if you opt for the most budget-friendly options, traveling alone, let alone internationally, is quite expensive. If you’re someone like me who has the financial means to do this kind of trip but within a strict budget, there’s pressure to make every moment of the trip **worth it**. Similarly, there’s anxiety about the trip not meeting your expectations and all that money you spent on flights and accommodations being a wash. I would avoid this scarcity mindset on time, fun, and overall enjoyability as much as possible. Assume there will be lulls, stress (but hopefully not too much), and a need for rest.
I planned a week-long trip in London, an extension of an already planned family excursion to Scotland. I considered visiting places besides London, but didn’t feel I would have enough time without giving myself an insane travel schedule. Plus, after driving all around Scotland, I assumed correctly it would be nice to stay in the same place for the week. Edinburgh and London are easily connected by train, and there was no extra charge to switch my flights to fly out a week later from London. London’s tube system also made transportation significantly less stressful and costly, as I neither desired to drive nor could afford a rental car for that time frame.
The Sites
After traveling with my family for a week, I was ecstatic to be alone. I love my family, but the Scotland portion of the trip, while overall enjoyable, had been incredibly stressful and laden with misfortune. Tensions were high, and I felt guiltily relieved I wouldn’t have to deal with the remainder of their travel anxiety on the 13-hour flights back to the States. The train ride from Edinburgh to London is beautiful, the rolling green hills dotted with lambs, gorse, and ocean glimpses felt straight out of a storybook. In the afternoon, I arrived at my accommodation, a room I rented out of a local family’s apartment. I went back and forth on booking a hostel, as I enjoy the social element and different free activities they tend to offer. But ultimately, I wanted someplace where I could feel a bit more secure and private. The family was incredibly kind, even if I did feel a bit awkward making conversation with them while using the common areas.
I let myself rest the day I arrived, and the next day I planned to see some of the typical London tour sites. Of course, this was the only day it rained heavily, and of course, I didn’t bring wellies. I saw the Tower of London and Westminster Abbey, which doesn’t sound like that much in one day, but boy, it was a lot of walking. I also mistakenly thought those two destinations were within close walking distance of one another (they are not), which is the only reason why I planned to see them that day. The Tower of London in my opinion is overrated. I’m not typically a huge British history person, but everyone said it was a must-see in London, so I relented. Westminster Abbey was quite spectacular. I’m not a religious person, but it is one of the most insane churches I’ve ever been inside, and it’s way bigger than you think it’s going to be. Even though it was quite busy, there were many places to sit and look at the architecture and stained glass. After I had made my initial rounds of the area, I took a seat in one of the main cathedral areas and just stared at the intricate details of the church, watched people light prayer candles, a listened to the soft, harried, and exhausted chatter of the visitors around me. It was a strange environment laden both with reverence and the manic compulsion of tourists to see, push, document, experience all around us.
The only other museums I visited were the Tate Modern and the Portrait Gallery. Both of these were free to visit. One of my favorite things about London is the number of third spaces that are free and accessible to the public. The Tate was especially nice in this regard, after viewing the art you can also enjoy lounge areas, a cafe, and a restaurant, all with public wi-fi. As someone who had scheduled many long days out and about and didn’t want to spend money on a long tube trip back and forth to my accommodation, I was constantly looking for spaces to dilly-dally in. The Portrait Gallery had some similar spaces, but it was huge and crowded and I left before seeing everything because I was overwhelmed and tired. The Tate felt quieter and more spaced out so I could enjoy the artwork better.
This was one of my first times visiting art museums by myself, and I have to say despite not being a big museums person I really enjoyed myself. It was so nice to wander wherever I wanted and not worry about where the other person was, if they were bored, if they wanted to spend more time looking at an exhibit, etc. There was an overall sense of unhurriedness throughout the majority of my trip. I made vague plans but gave myself lots of time and space between them. Some of the nicest moments were the quiet ones where I could stare out at the river, feel the sun, and listen to snatches of conversations as people walked by. So much of adult life feels like moving from one obligation to another—between work, errands, social life, etc. To have no obligations and feel no rush to accomplish anything, even experiencing moments of boredom, was such a lovely novelty.
I also think if you enjoy live performances of any kind, especially plays or musicals, these are great solo activities. Going to concerts alone can be tiring and overwhelming in my opinion, but theatre is much more accommodating and comfortable. You have a pre-assigned seat, there’s air conditioning and the overall atmosphere is calmer. My favorite thing I saw in London was the stage adaptation of Spirited Away. I’m normally pretty skeptical of movies adapted into plays, but as a huge Ghibli fan I had to see it, even if it was bad. It ended up being fantastic, the costumes and performances were so charming and you could tell everyone involved really loved the movie. The energy in the audience was similar, very excited and giddy and everyone was chatting with each other about their favorite parts.
Many people recommended that I catch a comedy show, which is not something I’d typically do. But many of the shows were quite cheap and it makes for a fun evening activity. Since the shows are often pretty interactive, its also a place where people are more disposed to chat with one another. Even if I didn’t love some of the comedy acts, it was a fun experience nonetheless.
My favorite place I visited was Hampstead Heath, a large nature park located a little north of central London. Hampstead itself is a beautiful area of the city, it’s very hilly and charming, and I think if I were to visit again I would stay there. The park itself feels almost more like a nature preserve than a park, there are huge old oak trees, little paths and lanes that branch off into hidden meadows. It felt like you could spend a year trying to explore the entirety of the trails. There are also swimming ponds and some historic cottages and manors with gardens, shops, and cafes, which is especially nice if you’re four miles into the park and desperately need a restroom. It was a brilliantly sunny day when I went and people were lounging everywhere across benches and meadows basking in the sun. It felt like a scene straight out of a Jane Austen novel.
The Food
I won’t go too in-depth into everything I ate, but just know London’s food scene is massive and incredibly diverse. It is also quite expensive, even just getting a small latte (no alternative milks or anything) ran me on average 6.00 GBP (or 7.60 USD). Here are my highlights:
Dishoom, King’s Cross: There are several locations across London but I really loved the ambience of this one! It is almost always busy but they have a lovely little cocktail bar reception area where you can wait for your table with a drink. I had the palak paneer which was delicious, and was sat adjacent to two separate sugar-baby, sugar-daddy date situations, which was very interesting speculative dinner entertainment.
Canopy Market, King’s Cross: I stumbled across this market wandering around looking for a place out of the rain. It was a perfect, cozy, covered market spot with many delicious-looking pastry vendors, a natural wine bar, and live music. Much more laid back than Borough Market.
Borough Market: It’s famous for a reason! You’ll want to try everything and buy exotic produce and spices that you do not need. I got some really good mustard and took a risk on an oyster booth. Many people recommend the donuts and venison burgers you can find there.
sketch london: This was my splurge meal. I was a little nervous going because sometimes being a solo diner in a fancier establishment can get you odd looks, but it ended up being one of my most enjoyable meals! I did their high tea experience, where you pay a flat price for a selection of teas, pastries, and sandwiches, followed by a crumpet and cake course. You can try as many teas as you like and if you like a particular sandwich or pastry they will bring you out more! My favorites were the tiny lobster roll, the red currant tea, and the violet eclair. The decor and ambiance were really fun to look at as well, they had a live string quartet, and the servers were so lovely to chat with.
Popham’s Bakery: Their pastries are always on my Instagram feed so I had to visit. I went to the Islington location, which was so cute! I would’ve loved to explore more of the area. Their cardamom bun was the best I’ve had, the cardamom was so fresh and the pastry texture was exquisite, crunchy and laminated like a croissant on the outside but soft and fluffy on the inside. I also had their smoked salt honey pastry which was delicious, and their coffee was the best I had in London. I wanted to go back to have their lunch but most of their locations are a bit out of the way from central London. But worth the detour!
Reflections
It was so special to have such an abundance of time to myself. But at moments, it did feel paralyzing. There were days I felt exhausted, I didn’t want to get out of bed, and then immense guilt for feeling that way when this was an experience I had been working and budgeting for so long. Decision fatigue set in after a while, I was sick of being in charge of quite literally everything I did, sick of having to go out and find and spend what I felt was too much money on food. I contemplated downloading a dating app just to find someone to have dinner and talk with for an evening to get away from myself. I missed my cat, my friends, my routine and the familiarity of home. But between those spaces of discomfort and loneliness, I found so much time for introspection and grounding myself in the present.
One day in Hyde Park I set a thirty-minute timer and just sat there and tried to watch and listen to everything happening around me without looking at my phone, listening to music, etc. It made me realize how disconnected we are sometimes, even when we’re just out walking with our headphones in. When we’re with friends and socializing, it’s easier to be present without those distractions because you have the medium of conversation and others’ stories to engage with. But when we’re by ourselves, we lean on the support of distractions like phones, books, etc. to soothe our feelings of being out of place or fuel our need for constant stimulation. There’s nothing wrong in seeking comfort in those things, but if you’re alone and seeking to be in community, sometimes those comforts only end up isolating you more when what you’re actually seeking is connection.
I feel so lucky and proud that I planned this trip for myself, because as enjoyable as it was it wasn’t always easy. I don’t know if I’d do another solo international trip, I found myself getting pretty lonely and restless after 5 days and I feel like international trips are more cost-effective when done for longer periods. But I definitely want to plan more weekend solo trips in the future.
“Because I am enough. My heart is enough. The stories and the sentences twisting around my mind are enough….And if this is it, if this is all there is- just me and the trees and the sky and the seas- I know now that that's enough.”
-Dolly Alderton in Everything I Know About Love
Thanks for landing here for a bit. Apologies for the hiatus, this blog felt like it was getting so long and maybe not that interesting, but I’m pushing through to post it anyways. I would love to hear if any of you have planned or want to plan a solo trip in the future. Maybe we can exchange locations or tips. Until next time.
-B